Key points:
As a former admissions officer and now an independent education consultant, I’ve read thousands of college essays. The ones that earn students admission to their dream schools aren’t necessarily the most polished. They’re the ones that sound like the student and express that student’s personality and experience. Within a few minutes of reading a file, I could distinguish between an applicant who had checked all the boxes and a real person I could imagine. As I tell my students, “Colleges are admitting you, not your essay.”
Writing that kind of essay starts with what I call the 3 P’s: following a process, showing your personality, and letting go of perfection.
How process removes pressure
The number one challenge my students face with their essays is deciding where to start. They worry that they won’t engage the reader right away or won’t be creative enough. There’s a myth that the opening needs to be shocking, that it needs to be something that’s never been heard before. To help students overcome this hurdle, I encourage them to find their voice through a low-pressure process that begins with exercises such as free writing or simply telling me their story, which I record.
In the past few years, I’ve worked with many students who have solved their “blank page” panic by using AI to draft their essays. Students are often hesitant to admit they’ve used these tools, which creates a barrier between us. While I coach them to use AI responsibly for brainstorming or outlining, many still fall back on it for the actual writing.
I researched tools that could support a student’s voice without replacing it, yet many still worked behind the scenes. I wanted a platform that offered inspiration, feedback, and insights without taking over the creative process. I chose Esslo, which allows me to collaborate with students on their actual writing, along with tools like College Planner Pro and Grammarly.
I was working with a student who was spending too many words of her essay writing about what was happening to her mom, so I asked her to self-assess her “contribution” score and then check it against the AI-powered score from Esslo. Revising an essay is like teaching someone to golf–you can’t fix everything at once. Working on one area at a time creates a process that is more manageable and effective for students and counselors.
Personality over polish
Even an essential process can go too far. If students revise endlessly to chase near-perfect scores on a rubric, they often scrub away the pieces and quirks that make it uniquely theirs. At the end of what we believe is the final draft, I have my students read their essays aloud. Then I ask them, “Is this something you would say? On a scale of zero to 10, would this actually come out of your mouth?” If it’s not seven or above, then we’re not going to submit that essay.
I also ask students, “What part of this essay is written because you think it’s what the reader wants to hear?” And sometimes, if an essay isn’t working, I’ll ask, “What’s the real story behind this? What part of this story are you hiding?” We’ll talk about it, and more often than not, that conversation will uncover the authentic essay. An essay that sounds like the student–even if it’s imperfect–will always do better than a flawless essay that could have been written by anyone.
The problem with perfection
Every student needs a different path to get a finished essay. Some do well with tech tools, but others use them to chase perfection, over-revising their essays until they become overly complicated. Think about the best books you’ve read. They flow naturally and show personality. It’s important to remember that a personal statement isn’t an AP English assignment–it doesn’t need to be academically rigid, but it needs to be honest.
If getting started is the hardest part for many of my students, knowing when to stop can be almost as challenging. When do they stop revising? When do they need to start over? Sometimes I tell students to scrap everything and grab an actual pen and paper. Set a timer for 15 minutes and answer the prompt with a specific scenario, whatever comes to mind, with as much detail as possible. Even if the experience they write about doesn’t end up getting submitted as their answer to that specific prompt, it is usually so vulnerable and unique that they’ll be able to use it for another essay.
Whether it’s a student writing too much about her mom or someone stuck focusing on what they think admissions officers want to hear, my advice is the same: Write about yourself and don’t be afraid to be who you are. Tech tools can be an enormous help in this process–not by pushing students toward perfect rubric scores, but by helping them present the real person behind the application.
